Cultivating Happiness

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." -Mahatma Ghandi

What is the meaning of happiness?  How will it find me?

I have searched high and low, did all sorts of crazy things, in pursuit of that one elusive thing called Happiness. As it turns out, I was wrong all along.  It doesn't come wrapped neatly with a ribbon on it.  It is something that we cultivate.  In this day and age, stress and restlessness (among many other) have become a huge factor to our unhappiness.   It takes deliberate attention to change that. When we practice happy thinking everyday, we develop a happiness habit and cultivate a merry heart.  Ultimately, it becomes a state of being.

The good news is, we have easy access to our own happiness switch.  Our thoughts and actions influence our level of joy.  When we consciously make changes in the way we see things, intuitively, we discover that happiness is indeed a sum of our life choices. 

I'm afraid I can't tell you what could make you happy.  All I know is that my life didn't begin to experience the true sense of joy until I made the decision to build my own happiness around these pillars:

• quality time with family and friends
• being kind to myself
• having a positive outlook in life
• being grateful for all the blessings I receive
• having a sense of purpose
• ability to inspire others and contribute in my own way
• being content with what I have

As author Elizabeth Gilbert observed in her book, Eat Pray Love:  Happiness is the consequence of our personal effort.  You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.  You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.  You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.

Quit Now!

Who says quitting is only for losers?

Quitting is okay.  Sometimes it the right thing to do.

Quitting smoking was by far the best thing I've ever done.

Quitting my job, scary as hell, has opened new doors for me.

I quit being the victim and started taking control of my life.

I haven't had meat in way too long.  Though, I don't want to label it as quitting (just yet), my break from it has seriously put my level of discipline to test.

Watching depressing and scary TV shows/movies proved to have a vast negative affect me in me.  To end that, I simply stopped doing it.

Impulse buying just made it on the list of things I that I quit doing.  Less clutter in my house, more money in the bank.

I quit trying to please everybody.  It is exhausting and quite frankly, unrewarding.

I used to worry so much about everything.  I quit doing that now too.

Rude and negative people, I quit on them a long time ago.  If a relationship is dragging you down, do yourself a favor and out the door you go!

I quit believing that my life is stressful.  That seems to be the trend going around these days.  Stress became the buzz word.  Who am I kidding? I have everything I need and more.

There is nothing wrong about quitting.  Look at it as editing your life.  By giving up on things that don't add value and meaning to your existence, subsequently, you allow better things to enter your life.  When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

Go ahead, decide to quit something today.  Be brave and proud.  Be happier.  Be healthier.  Be a quitter.

Bring Out the Child in You

After writing a post about home-caring I went ahead and cleaned my kitchen.  I scrubbed the counter tops, washed all the oven grills and the list goes on.  I went all mighty King Midas and everything I touched turned into...well, not exactly gold but, shiny as new.  I told myself repeatedly, "just do it and keep on going."

I digress.

This isn't another post about house cleaning. It's merely an observation that occurred to me while washing the kitchen floor.  I realized as I threw buckets of warm water on the floor that I was, to my surprise...playing.  There I was, frolicking around with bubbles, gliding and sliding, simply modeling a child.  I created my own amusement out of soap and water.  I never felt so energized and completely in the moment.  It was absolutely refreshing.

We live in a world where we laugh less, play less and wear uncomfortable clothes to disguise as a mature and grown person.  Dr. Suess once said, adults are obsolete children.  Sad, isn't it?

In the coming weeks, make time to bring out the child within you.  Don't let distractions get in the way of your imagination.  Let lose.  Let your hair down.  Heal the dis-eases of stress and depression with humor.  Laugh. Jump.  Skip.  Sing.  Our childhood maybe over but it doesn't mean playtime is.

Clean House, Clear Mind

Home-caring, the very act of cleaning, organizing and sanitizing your living space can be an energizing and stress relieving activity.  Look at it as an opportunity to move around, think and give your mind a break from life worries that tend to clutter our thoughts.  Personally, I love doing house work.  I find that it does more good to me than just being able to sit on a dust free sofa.

Boo!

I understand that it's not for everybody.  I, too, have days when I can't be bothered to lift a finger.  I could probably swing it for a day and a half without cleaning but let's be honest, who wants to live in a dirty space?  I know for a fact, the rewards of living in a clean and orderly home is reason enough to look past spending an hour or two puttering around the house.

There are ways to incorporate doing house chores into our day without it feeling like a monkey on our back. Understandably, the resistance to get it done sometimes weighs more than the promise of squeaky clean floors. Thankfully, these ideas suggest that it is possible to infuse some fun into the mundane.

First, let me share with you some tips on how to make cleaning simple and easy.

• make sure everything has a place
• wash dishes after every use
• pick things up as you go
• de-clutter and get rid of the unnecessary knickknacks that only collect dust in your house
• put things away right after use
• clear your surfaces
• have all your cleaning supplies in one easy to carry basket/bin
• put dirty clothes straight into the hamper
• fold laundry as soon as they come out of the dryer.  (easier said than done I know!)

Here are some tips and tricks on how to make home caring enjoyable.

• turn it into a work out session and sweat out all your frustrations
• listen to music or play your favorite funny TV show in the background
• listen to motivational audio books
• sing your heart out, dance a little
• turn it into a meditation session focusing on one task at a time
• use it as a time to think deep thoughts
• compose a letter/email or a blog post
• talk to yourself  (I do that all the time and it may seem crazy but it's fun!)

A well maintained space promotes a peaceful state of being and mental clarity.  Without the distraction of things scattered around the house, we can direct our energy into more important matters.  My advice is to find something that motivates you.  These ideas continually help me see cleaning not as a humdrum task but rather exciting and fun.  Give it a try.

Happy house cleaning!

Do it Now!

Graz, Austria

I will clean my fridge...someday.
I will start running again...someday.
I will enroll in photography classes...someday.
I will join a book club...someday.
I will go to church..someday.

And the list goes on...

Does this sound familiar to you?  Newsflash, my friend!  Someday, is not a day of the week.

Meet my number one nemesis.  Procrastination.  I can not tell you enough how many important matters I've put off doing until the last minute out of pure laziness and truth be told, just habitual carelessness.  I have wasted so much time, hurt the people I love and brought nothing but undue stresses into my life.  It is a vicious cycle and I'm determined to put an end to it.

First, we need to identify the reasons why we fall into this nasty habit.

"It is difficult"  We often put off a difficult task and attend to things of easier nature.  Choosing the path of least resistance often leads to being unproductive which, in time and continued practice, eventually advances to personal failure.

"I don't have time for this"  Yes, you do! You have control over what consumes your time.  If it's really that important, make time and attend to it.

"I don't know anything about it"  Knowledge, by definition is information and skills acquired through experience and education.  You won't know until you give it a try.  That lame excuse is not valid. All the more reason why you should start way ahead.

"I'm afraid to fail"  Let me throw in a cliche' here.  It is better to try and fail than never have tried at all.  There's just nothing worst than spending your life wondering what could have been if only you tried, is there?

"Procrastination is the thief of time." -Edward Young 

What is the cure?  Some of you might ask.

Do exactly the opposite, do it over and over until it locks in.

I, for one, am a work in progress.  After all, it is (or was) my Achilles heel.  And, like most areas of my life, I still struggle with my daily limitations, fears and habits. With awareness and acceptance, I believe we are all off to a good start. A fast track to overcoming procrastination, so to speak.  The benefits are endless. I look forward to stress free days, more time for myself, increased productivity and most importantly, just feeling good about myself for making better choices.

Kickstart the Simplifying Process

"Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Purge:  Toss all the excess.  Rid your life of all the unnecessary things, thoughts and unwanted feelings.   Essentially, this is the first step.  As your space gets clearer and more open, you'll realize that something larger than just the obvious physical aspect is changing.  You are changing too.  It is a beautiful revelation.

Pursue hobbies that are fun and inexpensive:  Find leisures and creative pursuits that don't require buying/storing a lot of stuff.  There are numerous activities out there waiting to be dabbled on.  You just have to find what best suits your interest.

Reduce media exposure: Often times, we don't even realize that we want a new pair of shoes unless we see it on television or magazines.  That's advertising and marketing tricking us into believing our pair of beige-y nude pumps must be replaced by a blush-tone nude this season.  It's like being lured to enter a buffet restaurant at times when you don't even realize you're hungry.

Stay away from the mall as much as possible:  Be gentle with yourself, if you know you're more likely to be tempted, stay away.  Eventually, the wanting of things will go away.  Until then, find other ways to cure boredom.  
Listen to your heart: There are no rules when it comes to simplifying your life.  No one else can set the limits for you.  What is "enough" for others may mean something else to you.  Don't let anybody tell you that you're doing it wrong.  Everything you need to know about the subject, you already know.  You just have to listen to that inner small voice that speaks the truth.

11 Daily Habits

"We first make our habits, and then our habits make us." -John Dryden 

As we grow, habits fade away making room for new ones.  We never get to a point where it's locked in forever.  It's a constant cycle of learning new things.  Essentially, we adapt to a world that moves at a fast pace. It is important to stick to habits that continually motivate us to lead a happy, meaningful life.

These are some of the habits that I believed have helped tremendously in making my life less stressful and more importantly, enjoyable.  Although the order might change from time to time, especially with the nature of my (previous) job, some elements of my regular practices remain in tact. 

1. Waking up early: Waking up to a new day is a gift.  24 brand new hours to make today better than the last one and an opportunity to make tomorrow brighter than ever.

2. Journaling: At the moment, I am doing my Morning Pages. For some of who are familiar with The Artist's Way, you know what I'm talking about.  It is an amazing book about achieving a creative life.  It is also during this quiet time that I work on my gratitude journal and write out my goals.

"If you want a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or things." -Albert Einstein

3. To-do list:  The simple act of writing out the things that need attending to and crossing them out as soon as they're done is an effective tool to keep things organized.

4.Grooming: It is said that there is a direct correlation between grooming and feeling good.  The act of stroking our hair when we brush it and touching our face when we put makeup on releases endorphins. The nature's happy drug.  I don't know much about the science behind it, I know for a fact that a little blush on my cheek and a gloss on my lip is a nice pick-me-up whether I'm leaving the house or not.

5. Home-caring: This is a task that plays a big role in my day.  I love puttering around the house.  It is meditative and highly rewarding.  After all, it is our sanctuary. 

6.Blog:  Blogging makes me think. Something that I can't get enough of these days.  Putting my thoughts into writing is something else.  It is cathartic.

7. Making/ Packing lunch:  Most of the time I prepare our meals.  It is something that I take pride on.  Knowing what goes into our food gives me a sense of control and awareness.

8. Idle time/s: Allowing yourself to indulge in random things once or several times a day, be it productive or not, adds a sprinkle of fun and spontaneity.  After all, all this means nothing if we're not having fun, right?  

9. Exercise: It goes without saying the benefits of regular fitness activity.   An hour walk or a 30 minute run several times a week has helped improved my well-being both physically and mentally.

10. Long therapeutic baths:  or ME time as I call it.  If the words relaxing, calming, detoxifying and so on sound appealing to you, this might be a wonderful way to treat yourself once in a while.

11. Read:  Reading inspirational books is one of the greatest things we can gift ourselves, and a habit to introduce to our children.   Apart from improved memory, writing and vocabulary skills, it is a way to inject a tranquil time into a rather busy day.

"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read.  One does not love breathing." -Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

One a Day

Masdar City, Abu Dhabi

One less thing that is.

The goal is to get rid of one thing every day until the end of the year.  As a result, by January 1st next year, I will be 88 things lighter and freer.  That way I am building my simplicity muscle, forming a habit that will eventually transform into a character through practice and repetition.

Why now?  Why the change?  Some of you may ask.

Why not?

It was made apparent through the purging process that my attachment to things falls under the "fling category." It was temporary and had very little meaning.  It took me no more than 2 days to go through mountains of unloved stuff and reduce it to a molehill of loved and needed belongings.  I couldn't think of a reason not to give it a try.

This article written by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits and mnmlist.com sums up my take on this subject.  I thought I'd share it with you.

Less is better.

Less means you spend less.  You need less storage.  You need a smaller house.

Less means you worry less.  You search for things less.  You are less bogged down by clutter.

Less means you're lighter.  You're freer.  You can focus on better things.

Less means you can travel more easily.  You spend less time with stuff, and more time doing stuff.

Less is more sustainable, more beautiful.


Well said Leo.

Taking a Step Forward

Whenever I hear people do something drastic or unconventional, I always ask what the reason behind is. Often times, they say, "Nothing, I just want to be different." Now, there's a response that does not resonate with me.

I was never a rebel.  I live in a world where the prevailing social norms are to be followed.    

Until, it hit me.  The person I've become, wanted to make a difference.  A difference that starts from within, in hopes that during the process, will inspire others to shift their focus from constantly acquiring things to making time and space to actually do things.  To create memories.  Having that mindset made it all easy to take the first step into simplifying my life.  

This journey didn't come about overnight.  Exactly 8 months ago, I started a journal about self image as a way to fully know myself and develop characteristics that are ideal to me.  Part of it was designing a capsule wardrobe (details of which will be featured in another post) according to these guidelines: 

• aesthetic (let's be real, we all want to look good)
• comfort
• practicality/ functionality

Making a list of what is essential is very personal.  No one else has the power to dictate what stays or goes.  So you need to have a clear vision before you take the plunge head first.  Once that's all sorted out, the dirty work begins:

• take out all your clothes, shoes, handbags and products out of their respective storage.
• same goes with books, accessories, tchotchkes and the like.  
• make four piles.  Donate, sell, keep and trash.
• be vicious and go through each and every item.
• toss them into the respective pile.
• clean and sanitize all sides and surfaces of your closet, drawers, dresser and shoe storage.
• neatly arrange items back where they belong.
• applaud yourself for a job well done. :)

For someone who considers herself an emotional shopper, it was surprising how little emotion went into the purging process.  Inevitably, our natural tendency to hold on to certain things with sentimental value will slow down the process.  I had to sit, take deep breaths and think hard, but the closer I got to achieving the goal, the more compelled I was to keep going.  It is amazing how it suddenly became clear to me, as the clutter goes, I realized that I am at my most comfortable knowing that everything I own, I own for a reason.

In a way, it was like turning over a new leaf. 

Changing Directions

A month ago I made a decision that would change the course of my life.  I left my job to embrace a new chapter that would give me the satisfaction and freedom to lead my life the best I know how.  No longer do I have to look down so far from the sky to see what's coming but rather with my feet planted on the ground looking up.

I'd be lying if I tell you that it wasn't one of the (if not the most) petrifying decisions I've ever had to make. After all, being a Flight Attendant was a life long dream.  You know how little girls used to say, "Someday I will travel the world wearing that beautiful uniform."  I was once that little girl.  I knew it was the job for me.  So, for nearly a decade I did just that.  Christmas in New York, autumn in Paris, birthdays spent in my city of choice.  It was, to say the least, a wonderful experience. One that shaped the person I am now. 

Of course that decision didn't just happen without careful consideration.  I knew I had to make adjustments. I just didn't know where to begin.  One day, I decided to tackle an area of my life that dominated my space, consumed most of my time and attention.  My possessions.  Since leaving my job means packing my stuff, it was the perfect time to re-evaluate the significance of all the things I've accumulated over time.  Nearly 10 years of flying, over 100 pairs of shoes, 25 handbags, three closets full of clothes (mostly unworn and with tags on) and an overflow of makeup and beauty products.  It was at that very moment when I knew something has got to change.

I am not writing this for any reason other than to attempt to hold myself accountable in some way.  Please take this as an invitation to join me in this journey.  There is so much to say about changing directions in life. I know well for sure the hardest part is simplifying.  Simplifying my needs, my thoughts, my life.  It is a hard decision to make but one that I know is right for me.

"Everthing is hard before it's easy" -J.W. Goethe

I hope you are all doing well.

Much love, =-)